recovery

That ugly word we don’t like to talk about but we all have. ADDICTION.

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I realize that I’ve experienced situations this year in which I thought I always understood but never TRULY had an ‘Ah-Ha’ moment until recently. 2016 has been a year that has tested my patience, limits, mindset, and integrity.

Addiction is characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences.  This can be behavior, substance, withdrawal, etc.
It is a disorder of the brain’s reward system.
addiction
Addiction regardless if it’s smoking, social media, gambling, our cell phones, alcohol, sex, food, behaviors, mindsets, or even over exercising can lead to complete breakdown of social support, true love, and ourselves.  And, addiction, regardless of what it is, takes away dreams/goals and often times makes our futures blurry.  What we believe we want is often taken away not by the addiction, but by the choices that addiction causes.

Recently, after a breakup, I have been reflecting on relationships and what makes people behave they way they do….including my own actions.

Some people say they want a steady relationship, trustworthy mate, solid job, nice home, family atmosphere, and people to love us/them.  I believe them when they say those ‘wants’…… but actions speak an entirely different story.

Those very same people are the ones who destroy their own dreams, goals & everything good in their life by giving into their weakness.  The addiction over rules the good choices and therefore, we become dark versions of ourselves that we do not recognize.  Then, we feel embarrassed, shameful, and irritated with ourselves that we worked so diligently towards that goal only to succumb to the weakness and voice that screams….. “It won’t hurt anything, just do it.”   We leave those close to us, move on…. and repeat the patterns with new people only to feel the need to move along again.
We never really are able to put roots down and establish a life.

Isn’t it amazing how W-E-A-K  we as humans can be to that addiction or bad habit?  

Think about it for a minute……..

  • Have you ever worked hard to lose weight then binged on kit-kats dipped in the PB jar??  (Ok…maybe that’s just my dirty addiction!)  
    But seriously — I work directly with people whom are addicted to food everyday and they don’t realize they have a problem.  Or maybe they do, but they allow food to create joint pain, depression, diabetes, heart disease, strokes, high blood pressure, weight gain, and more.  We know that eating Cheetos isn’t right, yet we eat the whole bag without thinking. 
  • How about the smoker who quits only to start again because they need something in their hands?  
  • The person who uses alcohol to forget about the stressors of life?  Or uses alcohol to relax and feel more comfortable in social gatherings? 
  • The sex addict who can’t remain loyal and feels they have a right to sleep with anyone regardless of the situation simply because they are curious or feel the need for sex.  
  • The extreme exerciser who pushes through significant pain for a goal…… then ends up with surgery and in physical therapy because they didn’t listen to the body giving them signals to slow down?

  • How about the person who doesn’t trust others because of past experiences and through that distrusting behavior creates unnecessary issues within the relationship?  Poor mindsets that continue repeatedly and breakdown relationships can also be considered an addiction. 


It’s absurd that we can talk ourselves into that addiction and find a way to justify it at the time, only to have absolutely no concrete idea as to why we gave in in the first place.
We will risk losing EVERYTHING for that drink, bite, taste, feeling, possible wealth……and even after losing it all and vowing to never allow it to happen again……..people still turn around and allow it to destroy hard work and effort.

Hellooooo depression!  Hellooooo self disgust.  Helloooo frustration and loneliness.

I don’t know the answers and I don’t know how to get through it other than leaning on those you trust in times of weakness, or recognizing the oncoming symptoms/feelings and occupying yourself with positive reinforcements until the feeling or situation passes.  Do not put yourself in the situation where the addiction or poor choice can happen!!  Be smarter than the addiction….. break the cycle.

Allow yourself to feel pride, strength, discipline, integrity, and self confidence in your choices not simply because you’ve made it through another day/week, but because you don’t live in fear that you will choose poorly again.

Addiction lives through FEAR.  
Addiction tells us we aren’t good enough.  
Addiction makes us feel feel like we are in control when we are NOT.  
Addiction creates shame.  
Addiction chases loved ones away and tarnishes our image.  
Addiction is a beast, a demon, a controller and it thrives on fear.  
Addiction creates depression.  Depression creates Addiction!!!

The more I live, the more I realize how our minds and self talk is incredible powerful.  When you hear those voices telling you  “It won’t hurt anything, just do it” — do NOT trust that voice!!!
Say out-loud – “I refuse to sacrifice all that is good in my life for a simple fix.”
Because that weakness is not a solution……………..it’s the problem.
AND….. YOU. ARE. WORTH all that is good!!!!
You deserve happiness and love….. to give it and receive without fear of when it’s going to come crashing down again.

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If you are struggling with a food addiction, please contact me.  I’ve taken courses on food addictions and will provide that community support to help you overcome the weakness and create healthy habits.
Fight the fear and reach out to me at Bashford.Lisa@yahoo.com

Did I wear the right underwear?

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Could I do it?  Would I be mentally strong enough?  Are my lungs having a good day?  Will my legs last?
Did I train hard enough?  Did I wear the right underwear?

Lisa Phone September 2014 soccer, family picnic, class reunion 2071

Yep…all thoughts as I drove myself to my 6th half marathon race on Saturday morning.  I had one goal in mind….. to set a new personal record (PR).  I had been trying for almost 2 years to break the 2:10 mark (2 hours: 10 minutes) and had almost succumbed to the fact that maybe I should be happy with a 2:10 and count my blessings.  But, the day before the race a very good friend of mine, Trisha, challenged me to beat her PR which was about 5 minutes faster than mine.  Game On.
Lisa Phone September 2014 soccer, family picnic, class reunion 2072
I usually have a couple adult beverages on Friday nights with some of my favorite people, but because of the race the next morning, I stayed in and tried to rest despite the butterflies in my belly.  Saturday morning I got up, showered, shimmied my way into my running capris and sports bra, grabbed my inhaler, pre-workout drink, IPod Nano, and out the door I went to meet my running group called “Running Sole Mates.”  Clever group name, huh??

Lisa Phone September 2014 soccer, family picnic, class reunion 2075

After going back to the vehicle to get the pre-workout drink I had forgotten, and then using the bathroom for the 100th time that morning, I met them under the clock as we do every year.  We are a group of running misfits who LOVE the runner’s high and have become addicted to the pain.  Then we headed to the start line, where I realized I had forgotten my hand held race bottle and keys sitting on the bench by the clock.  I panicked…..but had no time to worry about it.  I must focus.
Lisa Phone September 2014 soccer, family picnic, class reunion 2076
The countdown began….. 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1….and we were off.  The first 4 miles is a straight shot through downtown & then we start winding around parks & beautiful neighborhoods.  My comfortable pace is a 10 minute mile, but my last few training runs weren’t going so well.  I knew by mile 2 I was running under a 9:30pace.  By mile 4 came and I was still holding strong.  A dear friend tapped me on the shoulder and we chatted for about a half mile before she took off after her own PR.  I stayed behind her for about a mile before losing her at a water stop.
Mile 5: My pace was 9:27.
Mile 6-8: A bit of a blur.  I was working really hard to focus on my technique and find a fast paced song.
Mile 10: Pace had dropped to a 9:37. I was wondering if I could hold onto that pace for 3 more miles.
Mile 11:  Can I stop yet please??  NO.  But, I did slow my pace a bit.  I ran into 3 very tall athletic guys wearing neon green T-shirts with their names on the back.  They had a good pace & were having fun giving children high 5’s and chatting/being silly while they ran.  I wondered how that must feel to have energy like that at mile 11.  I knew I needed to stay with them and they kept me entertained.
Mile 12:  OMG – I. CAN. DO. THIS.  The dialogue in my head “Don’t slow down.  You will be so pissed at yourself.  If you slow down and are just a few seconds off you will have ruined all your hard work the past 12 miles.  PUSH!!!” (Followed by a lot of prayers.)
Mile 13: Upon nearing mile 13, the crowd starts to get thick as you run into the stadium and to the finish line.  This is the fun part.  Let me paint the feeling…. Your lungs are tired, your legs are aching, you are thirsty, Salt is covering your body, you cannot feel all of your toes, and people are watching you.  “Pull it together, Lisa…… Lead By Example!”  was the reoccurring thought at this stage.  Then there was a steep downward ramp into the stadium “Don’t fall, Don’t fall.  Please God… don’t let me fall.” 
Onto the red outer track of the outfield which runs all the way around and to home plate.  That is a little over .10 of a mile.  I was concerned about the clock…. So my pace picked up.  I also saw a lady who was older and bigger than I who was about 20 feet in front of me.  No way in hell was she going to beat me (did I mention I’m a bit competitive?)……and I sped past her.  My body was aching, but the finish line was 150 feet away.  I crossed the line, gave a fist pump, and immediately overwhelmed with emotion.  I knew I had PR’d but not sure by how much!!!!
Now….. once you finish a race, they usher you through a line towards water, food, and your medals.  I recognized no one, so made my way to the grass to sit down and stretch.  While in child’s pose, my eyes may have leaked a little….not from the pain of my body but from the accomplishment I had just done ALL BY MYSELF.  I DID IT!!  Then….my phone started blowing up with texts from friends who were tracking me and saw my finish time.  My friend, Drew, told me my time: 2:06:53.  I beat my old time by 3+ minutes!!  BOOM!  That medal was a sweet keepsake.
Lisa Phone September 2014 soccer, family picnic, class reunion 2078
The rest was surreal.  I made my way up the stadium stairs to find my childhood friend, Drew waiting on me with a Gatorade.  I may have cried, talked too fast, zoned out….. I’m not really sure!!  My brain and body was tired and I zoned out with my chocolate milk.  He walked with me to that bench under the clock and my water bottle with car key was still there!!!
As I was trying to clear my thoughts, more friends were coming up to me chatting about the race.  Some set new records, others had a difficult race, but we ALL crossed the finish line!!

Did I mention we all do this because the ‘runner’s high’ is amazing??  Truly, it is.  It’s a beautiful mix of body pain and mental jubilation!  I had done it!!!!  I had a new PR!!!  I have yet to run down Trisha’s PR….. but that gives me a new goal.  🙂  Post run activities included food, fluids, ice bath, and rest!  (Okay…. a couple pain pills too!)  Recovery is VERY important….it will help you to feel much better by the next day!  If you are unsure what to eat/drink…contact me and I will teach you.

Lisa Phone September 2014 soccer, family picnic, class reunion 2087

This Sunday, I’m running another half marathon.  This is the first time I will have ran 2 half marathons in consecutive weekends.  I will then be considered a ‘half fanatic’ – just another title for us crazy runners.

Crazy we may be…….. but we are also mentally strong people who love pushing ourselves to see what our bodies can do.  I challenge you to find out what your body can accomplish and how strong you are mentally.  You never know how great you can be until you give it all you have.

** If you need some assistance accomplishing your fitness goals, I’d love to chat with you!  You can reach me at Bashford.Lisa@yahoo.com or check out my website to find all my social media outlets!!  www.YourFitness-411.com

I waited 6 months before I told anyone of my symptoms thanks to Fear.

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Intermittent lower abdominal cramping, diarrhea, blood in stool, frequent trips to the bathroom……. I didn’t know what was causing this for almost 6 months and I was fearful of telling someone and finding out the truth.  The symptoms were embarrassing and I didn’t want anyone to know.  Thankfully, I wasn’t suffering from weight loss, so it wasn’t too obvious and I became real good at controlling ‘diarrhea’ – sounds crazy, but true!
Finally I blurted it out to a co-worker while we were working on our daily patient progress notes, “Do you ever have blood in your BM?”  He looked at me and slowly said, “NO….. Do you?”   Once I told him my symptoms had been occurring for 6 months, he strongly urged me to see a doctor.  That was in 2003 and I made an appointment with my family physician that week.  That appointment was awful.  I was embarrassed and he wanted to do a rectal exam looking for a fissure.  I refused and agreed to try more fiber in my diet. A week later when I was getting worse and fatigued, I called again and reluctantly allowed the exam.  NO FISSURE.  He then referred me to a GI doctor and I quickly had my first colonoscopy.
The colonoscopy revealed a disease called ‘Ulcerative Colitis.’  This was one of those days that my life forever changed.  I was informed that I had a disease that would never truly go away.  I would take meds the rest of my life and the goal was to remain in ‘remission’ or ‘symptom free.’  I also experienced my first introduction to prednisone, a drug that I quickly learned to love and hate.  Love how it calms down the flare quickly; hate all the symptoms & how slow the weaning can be from the drug.  I was young at that time (28 years old) and did some research, thought I had it all figured out and followed the Dr’s orders.
Then I had another flare-up the next year which meant more prednisone.  Within 2 years, I had another colonoscopy and was on more prednisone.  My bouts with Prednisone were 4-12 weeks in length and I cried every time I was told I’d have to take it.
Prednisone is a steroid.  My symptoms are horrible on this drug:
achy joints
little sleep
jittery/wired
hungry/thirsty
water retention (especially in belly and face)
hot flashes
nightmares.  My nightmares are always the same.  I’m at a random person’s funeral and the cadaver sits up and stares at me.  It’s horrible.  I can’t sleep and when I do…. That is where my brain goes!

I had an argument with my first GI doctor after the second colonoscopy and more prednisone.  He told me there were no other options for treatment.  I actually woke up while they were taking a biopsy during a colonoscopy!  OUCH!  I didn’t know much about nutrition at that point, but was able to control the disease with meds and lower stress levels. (I’m a Type A personality….. decreased stress levels rarely occur!)
I switched doctors and am pleased with my current GI doctor.  His goal is to keep me off prednisone and gives me a lot of freedom when it comes to my prednisone dosage and weaning.  As a means of learning more about my body/disease,  I received a certification through the ISSA as a ‘specialist in sports nutrition’ and that education greatly helps me with my disease, family nutrition, and assisting clients towards weight loss/muscle building.  I have also spoken many times to a friend of mine who is a doctor and he helps me determine my next step.  I have considered becoming part of a university study to find more treatment options.

Lisa's phone early May2014 371

Now-a-days, I control my colitis by limiting my gluten intake, exercising, proper fluids, meds, vitamins, and making sure to eat plenty of fruits/veggies.  Many folks with GI disorders are malnourished, so it’s important to eat well.  Also, green leafy veggies act as little scrubbers in the intestines.  Great for most people, bad for those of us with ulcers in the intestines!!  I have found that too much fiber makes my GI tract VERY angry VERY quickly!  I’ve also found that artificial sweeteners make me bloat and look 5 months pregnant. Ain’t nobody got time for that!  

Fast forward to the past few months —-> I had probably my worst flare up this past November while on vacation in Alabama.  I struggled to walk along the beach, go on adventures with the kids, and eat.  I was trying a new drug that was not working and my energy level was the lowest it had ever been.  I had more energy after running marathons than I did in November!   (Marathons aren’t great for colitis either…. But I’m NOT going to allow this disease to boss me around!) Needless to say, I went back on prednisone.  I was told to start a more intense level of drugs, which I refused based on research and probability of skin cancer.  I tightened the diet, focused on de-stressing, focused on my running/fitness, and was diligent about my daily meds.  I had my 4th colonoscopy in late February 2014.  This week was the post-exam appointment.  What would they tell me?  Did the disease progress?  Were the polyps cancerous?  Do I need the more intense meds?

“Your colonoscopy revealed that the polyps were not harmful and your test results looked BETTER than they did in 2009!  That’s not common, so whatever you are doing is working!”

Whoo-hoo!!!  I was certain that last flare-up had ruined me!!  Once again, my life proves that a healthy lifestyle involving better food choices (not perfect because I LOVE my PB M& M’s and tortilla chips) and exercise = a healthier mind, body, and soul.  I’m embracing my body the older I get and I am fully aware that with age comes more health issues.  I feel as though I am fighting hard against that though!  My fitness level is better now than it was as an athlete in high school.  I am educated on food and how it affects the body.  I live with asthma and ulcerative colitis, yet I have accomplished marathons and running events that only a few people EVER attempt in their lifetimes.  I continue to build muscle in my body.  I don’t have the typical joint aches that many my age have after playing recreational sports or doing new activities.
The moral of my story?
Listen to your body and treat it well.  Don’t be shy about your symptoms!  Go to the doctor and get educated about your body and diagnosis!  Just because you are diagnosed with an autoimmune disease (or anything else) does not mean that your active life has come to an end.! Learn how to stay active with the disease and when a doctor tells you that you should decrease your exercise without solid reasons….. tell him “Hell NO!”  My asthma and GI doctor both understand that they are going to have to work with me vs. tell me what to do, because I am NOT slowing down.  They and I work together to find solutions that I can live with and that benefit my body. That’s why I love them so!  I have goals and children that need an active Mom & I love setting an example for others.  I realize that my chance of Colon Cancer is higher than the average person and that I’m going to have more flare-ups in my lifetime.  I’ll probably once again be on prednisone at some point and get frustrated with my swollen face.  But for right now…. My colon looks better than in 2009!  I couldn’t be more pleased!
Each person’s body responds to treatment differently and I am NOT a GI doctor.  But, I listen to my body, read the research, experiment with food, pray for health, and stay active.  If there is any way I can help you along the journey of Ulcerative Colitis, please contact me.  I mentor many weight loss accountability/support groups via social media and have many clients who have found success.  I’d be honored to help you too.
Find me on Facebook at:  www.facebook.com/YourFitnessInfo
Find me on Instagram at:  www.Instagram.com/YourFitness411

#21DayFix is the newest program from Team Beachbody.  It teaches the person food portion control & proper eating habits along with 6 workouts that are 30 minutes in length!!  Most people struggle with proper food intake….but this program is the first of it’s kind to help you with your food!  No calorie counting, no weighing your food.  If it fits in the containers, you eat it!  Great results! Contact me if you want to try this program!  It’s only $60!  Bashford.Lisa@yahoo.com

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Activate your motivation button

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Confession:  I do not always eat healthy and I definitely have my food weaknesses. (I even sometimes experience emotional eating! GASP!)  But, want to know what keeps me mostly on track and motivated?  My workouts.  I’m always telling you that your food choices are 80% of your success, and I believe this is true.  BUT, before you roll your eyes, try thinking of it this way…… My workout is the thing that helps me make good food choices.
* What I eat effects my workouts & how well I complete them.
* What I eat AFTER a workout effects my muscle recovery and how I feel the rest of the day.
*  If I’m going to bust my ass in a workout, I don’t want to ruin it with poor food choices.
*  Less pounds on my joints, makes my workouts better.
So, even though your food choices account for 80% of your success, I use my workout to help me stay motivated with food choices.  I’ve eaten the wrong things before a run before and had HORRIBLE runs, then I’m angry at myself.  And, if I don’t eat/drink well enough post workout, then I get hour long headaches and my joints/body aches.
Once again, proving that EXERCISE + NUTRITION = SUCCESS.
They work work together to help the body achieve goals.
PEOPLE: I think about you guys all the time and how I can motivate you and keep you healthy!!!  I am constantly thinking of new ways to explain things to you.  And, by doing this for YOU, I’m doing it for ME too.  It helps keep me on track.  So…..THANK YOU! 🙂