I realize that I’ve experienced situations this year in which I thought I always understood but never TRULY had an ‘Ah-Ha’ moment until recently. 2016 has been a year that has tested my patience, limits, mindset, and integrity.

Addiction is characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences.  This can be behavior, substance, withdrawal, etc.
It is a disorder of the brain’s reward system.

Addiction regardless if it’s smoking, social media, gambling, our cell phones, alcohol, sex, food, behaviors, mindsets, or even over exercising can lead to complete breakdown of social support, true love, and ourselves.  And, addiction, regardless of what it is, takes away dreams/goals and often times makes our futures blurry.  What we believe we want is often taken away not by the addiction, but by the choices that addiction causes.

Recently, after a breakup, I have been reflecting on relationships and what makes people behave they way they do….including my own actions.

Some people say they want a steady relationship, trustworthy mate, solid job, nice home, family atmosphere, and people to love us/them.  I believe them when they say those ‘wants’…… but actions speak an entirely different story.

Those very same people are the ones who destroy their own dreams, goals & everything good in their life by giving into their weakness.  The addiction over rules the good choices and therefore, we become dark versions of ourselves that we do not recognize.  Then, we feel embarrassed, shameful, and irritated with ourselves that we worked so diligently towards that goal only to succumb to the weakness and voice that screams….. “It won’t hurt anything, just do it.”   We leave those close to us, move on…. and repeat the patterns with new people only to feel the need to move along again.
We never really are able to put roots down and establish a life.

Isn’t it amazing how W-E-A-K  we as humans can be to that addiction or bad habit?  

Think about it for a minute……..

• Have you ever worked hard to lose weight then binged on kit-kats dipped in the PB jar??  (Ok…maybe that’s just my dirty addiction!)  
  But seriously — I work directly with people whom are addicted to food everyday and they don’t realize they have a problem.  Or maybe they do, but they allow food to create joint pain, depression, diabetes, heart disease, strokes, high blood pressure, weight gain, and more.  We know that eating Cheetos isn’t right, yet we eat the whole bag without thinking. 
• How about the smoker who quits only to start again because they need something in their hands?  
• The person who uses alcohol to forget about the stressors of life?  Or uses alcohol to relax and feel more comfortable in social gatherings? 
• The sex addict who can’t remain loyal and feels they have a right to sleep with anyone regardless of the situation simply because they are curious or feel the need for sex.  
• The extreme exerciser who pushes through significant pain for a goal…… then ends up with surgery and in physical therapy because they didn’t listen to the body giving them signals to slow down?

• How about the person who doesn’t trust others because of past experiences and through that distrusting behavior creates unnecessary issues within the relationship?  Poor mindsets that continue repeatedly and breakdown relationships can also be considered an addiction. 

It’s absurd that we can talk ourselves into that addiction and find a way to justify it at the time, only to have absolutely no concrete idea as to why we gave in in the first place.
We will risk losing EVERYTHING for that drink, bite, taste, feeling, possible wealth……and even after losing it all and vowing to never allow it to happen again……..people still turn around and allow it to destroy hard work and effort.

Hellooooo depression!  Hellooooo self disgust.  Helloooo frustration and loneliness.

I don’t know the answers and I don’t know how to get through it other than leaning on those you trust in times of weakness, or recognizing the oncoming symptoms/feelings and occupying yourself with positive reinforcements until the feeling or situation passes.  Do not put yourself in the situation where the addiction or poor choice can happen!!  Be smarter than the addiction….. break the cycle.

Allow yourself to feel pride, strength, discipline, integrity, and self confidence in your choices not simply because you’ve made it through another day/week, but because you don’t live in fear that you will choose poorly again.

Addiction lives through FEAR.  
Addiction tells us we aren’t good enough.  
Addiction makes us feel feel like we are in control when we are NOT.  
Addiction creates shame.  
Addiction chases loved ones away and tarnishes our image.  
Addiction is a beast, a demon, a controller and it thrives on fear.  
Addiction creates depression.  Depression creates Addiction!!!

The more I live, the more I realize how our minds and self talk is incredible powerful.  When you hear those voices telling you  “It won’t hurt anything, just do it” — do NOT trust that voice!!!
Say out-loud – “I refuse to sacrifice all that is good in my life for a simple fix.”
Because that weakness is not a solution……………..it’s the problem.
AND….. YOU. ARE. WORTH all that is good!!!!
You deserve happiness and love….. to give it and receive without fear of when it’s going to come crashing down again.

If you are struggling with a food addiction, please contact me.  I’ve taken courses on food addictions and will provide that community support to help you overcome the weakness and create healthy habits.
Fight the fear and reach out to me at Bashford.Lisa@yahoo.com